Malachy Clerkin: Don’t worry about Newstalk’s Ciara Kelly

We got very close. Very close. We arrived two days from Leinster to play at Croke Park and the build-up continued to be very pleasant and enjoyable and free from the usual dreary tedium. It seemed to everyone that we were going to be able to just enjoy a big sporting event in a big sporting stadium and that would be it. Imagine.

No big fuss. No big shout. It was simply a great day as we would welcome our friends from across the water as they made their journey to the unknown surroundings of Dublin 3. And Northampton too, of course. We would also welcome them.

When one comes, all come. No bad results, no bad feelings. For the second time this year, one of our flagship GAA stadiums has been sold out for a rugby match. It couldn’t come at a better time either: between the two “biggest” weekends of Leinster football, in front of an attendance that wouldn’t fill a parish hall. Rugger at Croker, filling a hole the GAA has dug for itself. And we thought to ourselves, what a wonderful world.

But then the nice lady from Newstalk perks up and the next thing you know something wicked is coming this way. War! Stramash! Rí-rá agus ruaille buaille! Turn on the anger, Bridie – time for another quick round of Your Sport’s Bad, No Yours It is the sport that is bad.

And about what? More than pints. The one thing that should unite us all. Irish sports fans come in all shapes and sizes, but none that are incompatible with the most sacred ritual of games, pints and shit-talking. Football, rugby, gah, snooker – all irrelevant. A grá by the pint beats every last detail of who likes what and why. Or it should, at least.

But no, 48 hours before one of the best pint days Dublin city will see this side of Christmas, rugby fans’ access to pints in Croke Park has somehow become a thing. Or more accurately, rugby fan access to pints in the rugby fan’s seat at Croke Park became a reality. Take it, Mrs. Ciara Kelly.

“(The GAA) doesn’t care what other things do, but rugby is still Sassenach’s foreign sport and we’re not going to let them drink if we can’t drink,” he said. “I think it’s a grudge (on the shoulder), I really think it is. What does the GAA care what rugby fans do when they rent Croke Park? There they let other people drink. “I think it’s the foreign game, I think that’s what it is.”

Now look. As someone who has frequently become a winner on live radio and podcasts over the years, this column is inclined to express some sympathy here. A radio microphone is a threat. Sometimes you start talking and you’re in the middle of a sentence and all you think is, “I really have no idea what the words will be that will end this thought.”

So you won’t find any condemnation of Ciara Kelly in this corner. If anything, she felt as if the station itself had hung her out to dry too happily. They seemed to see all of her sweet, sweet engagement on her X account — they got a million views on one post as of Thursday! – And she quickly reappeared on his lunch news show. The tweet had the dreaded ‘Context added by readers’ message underneath, which in Xspeak means “You got it wrong here, BooBoo.” And yet they didn’t lower it.

The funny thing is that everything seemed completely outdated. Like we went to sleep and woke up in 2001. Sports are no longer pitted against each other. In general, we are as ecumenical as possible. There will be a lot of crossover between the 82,000-odd who fill Croke Park today and those who will fill it in July for the All-Ireland final. People like sports, people like to spend the day. It really isn’t much more complicated than that.

Some of the talk around Croke Park this week felt a bit forced, if we’re honest. All the talk about teaching the Saints the history of the place seemed a little silly, a little 2007. And as for poor Tommy Freeman, whose interview with Lawrence Dallaglio went viral for saying they’d be “firing on all cylinders,” we Surely we can all give it a pass, right?

It’s bad enough that I have to try to live up to the feats of the current Tommy Freeman, a fixture for Croke Park when he played there for Monaghan. But now the real Lawrence Dallaglio has to delete a real interview with him for fear the Irish won’t have the cop to watch it for the harmless sports cliché it was. That seems a little extreme, doesn’t it?

We probably moved on from this a long time ago. Even though the GAA is something of a miracle of Irish life, we could all do with being a lot less thoughtless and precious about it. Rugby people shouldn’t feel like they have to mind their manners when they take over the room for a day. And if a radio DJ wants to be prudish, belligerent and wrong, what happens? Sea fog. Steam. I couldn’t care less.

Enjoy the day, Leinster rugby. The pints will go down well.